What's in a name?

I posted earlier about changing my name... but it turns out to be a long story, which lots of people have asked me about, so here goes.

After much soul-searching and to-and-froing and revisiting the issue months after Ross thought it was resolved (to his frustration) I finally decided that I would take his last name. Part of the decision was that we would both have my maiden name as a middle name, not double-barrelled or anything, just hiding out in our names to remind us of where we come from. That made me feel much more comfortable that I wouldn't be "losing" my name and hence my identity.

Anyway, when we went to get our marriage license from the county clerk the week before the wedding, we asked about how the name-changing process worked, and discovered to our horror that, even in the 21st century, in our county Ross would have to pay $250 to change his name, while I could change mine for free if I was getting married.

Not only that, but when I started to ask the person who helped us about changing my name, and consequences for drivers' licences, passports, visas, etc, she said that while both names would still be legal, and so I *could* change some stuff but not other stuff if I *wanted* to, she recommended waiting until I was ready to change everything over all at once. Since I live in what feels like a legal house of cards (international student), I decided not to do the legal name change until I'm free of the encumbrances of university administration and INS.

Consequently, I haven't really done anything, and so when people ask me for my name I don't really know how to answer them. Have I changed my name? No, but yes. Yes, I am happy and excited to be addressed by my new name, I certainly won't be offended if you assume that that's my name, I fully intend for that to be my legal name. But no, I haven't.